I'm a teacher but who is that

One of the first things I did on my summer vacation was to drive out of town, visiting people and places. I had never been to Utah, so I went camping and hiking in the national parks there. It was refreshing to satisfy my wanderlust, and then afterwards I went to a family reunion in Arkansas and spent a lot of time with my father. Everyone asked about how my school year had been. I liked teaching 6th grade at my middle school. I'm enjoying the reactions to "What do you teach?" because people have such a variety of memories from their school days.

Now that I'm back home, and, I'll admit it, feeling bored, I have started thinking about how my identity as a human being has begun to align with my job or career identity. If nothing else, next year should feel more natural because I have confidence and familiarity with being the teacher. And I know myself better. I have grown.

When I began teaching for the first time, that teacher identity just hadn't fully formed yet. I'm still young for a teacher, yet I think this is true for both life and work: your development as an individual happens at its own pace. Every day that I live I try to learn from my mistakes. Spend some time appreciating myself and my abilities. Then I can go on to live up to my highest potential. Every day that I teach I am learning from mistakes, sometimes not made by me. But we have to play the cards we are dealt, as the saying goes. You grow by accepting what you have and making the most with the potential that is there.

So although last year I was a respectable teacher by all means, next year I will be more comfortable knowing who I am as part of the school and 6th grade team. For instance, I already know that the other teachers are professionals with various teaching styles different from mine. I know who to go to for help. I know how to do my grades and all the technical parts of the job.

But there's more. There's a personality of a real teacher forming. Someone kids count on as an adult who cares about their education. Someone who can draw the line when a student takes away from the learning of others. She also knows when to ease off and let a kid recover from a really bad day. She can make a boring lesson into a fun game and calm down the room after a security drill. She treats everyone in her class with the same respect. She plans ahead to keep everyone engaged. She expects perfection but gives second chances. Flexibility and consistency meet somewhere in the middle, but it's so confounding. I barely understand it. Somehow my own personal insanity makes me a more reliable teacher amidst a turbulent world. At the end of the day I just want school to be a better place to learn, naturally.

Questions to think about:
What's most important to me, as I continue to unwind from my first year? What should I anticipate as my biggest challenges? What kind of values do I hold, and are they always appropriate for the students I work with? Have some of my ideas about education and communities changed? What stays the same, what will I always believe in?