friendly observation

Observation seems neutral unless you're sitting in the back of a class taking notes while somebody's teaching. I wasn't there to judge her teaching, but of course I was comparing myself to her. We are both second-year teachers; though, my students are a year younger than hers.

I noticed how insecure the kids felt. I was pretty miserable and bored myself sitting through the short classes. The clowns just wanted to get sent to the suspension room, and usually they got to go. It must be fun in there.

That school was in a really rough neighborhood that was the site of a gang-related shooting last year. I imagine the kids just come to school to be safe, make friends, and make it through.

My students don't always meet my expectations, but I am not going to lower them one bit. I am glad all those kids have a teacher who cares and challenges them.

End of year two

Just today I re-opened this blog because the school year is officially over. Before today, I felt that it was unprofessional of me to write about the place I worked in an online blog. I am leaving behind my position at the middle school, however, so that fear is vanquished. My room's almost cleaned out. I am exhausted.

Among other reasons for resigning, I want to explore my other career options and get some of my life back now. I also feel that I am being a quitter. I could have chosen to stay another year (or two, or whatever). Settle down here. Save up some money and just chalk it up to experience.

But that's not being fair to myself. I didn't fail at this job; I am not incompetent. There's no need to worry about walking away from another school year. I keep telling myself that.

What will happen next? Who knows. I am feeling it out the best I can. Right now part of me has fears about the future. Another part of me senses an opportunity to come alive. I can do anything, as I could all along, if only I choose.

“It’s high time you were shown, that you really don’t know all there is to be known.”

-Dr. Seuss

I am going to lock this teacher blog down. I have been warned enough times about writing about school. I am considering a separate blog for other topics, or I might just use a different space to write until I quit my job.